Are you a feeler? Do certain people or environments drain your energy? Do social interactions make you feel depleted? You may be a highly sensitive person, and interacting with insincere situations leaves you feeling disconnected, confused, and your nervous system uses more energy to try to figure out what is going on. In this episode, Dr. Ana Lara delves into the essence of spiritual authenticity and emotional healing, examining what it truly means to walk in truth before God and others.
Disclosure: This content is for educational purposes; this is not intended to treat anyone medically. Speak to your doctor for further guidance.
Podcast Episode 52 Transcript: The Power of Spiritual Authenticity and Emotional Healing
Welcome to Physician Heal Thyself, the podcast empowering you to take a whole-person approach to your wellbeing, spirit, soul, and body. Join me, your host, Dr. Ana Lara, naturopathic doctor, entrepreneur, and a servant of Jesus Christ. We are not just a body, we are spirit and soul. It’s time to integrate medicine and spirituality into our healing. Let’s get started. Welcome back to Physician Heal Thyself, the podcast. I am your host, Dr. Ana Llara.This is episode 52. Guys, it’s been a whole year of recording episodes, and it’s been a fun and a pleasure to share information. In this conversation, we’re going to keep it very real.
I’m going to really try to pretend that you’re right in front of me and we’re just having this conversation today. I want to discuss the power of authenticity and its implications for our spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional lives, and what sparked this conversation. I’d like to start by sharing a story that happened to me this past weekend, as I’m recording this. It’s Tuesday, April 29th and over the weekend I was at a naturopathic medical conference and this is a group of people that we have something in common, something alike.
It’s a great group, and the information being shared is excellent at the conference. The first two days, guys, I found myself feeling depleted; something was just sucking the life force out of me in this room. I would get home after each day on those first two days, just exhausted, not caring to eat, just wanting to lay down and sleep, and I did, but it was a disturbed I couldn’t rest. I was disturbed in sleep. On Sunday, I wake up to attend the third day of this conference, and I think to myself, Lord, what’s going on with me? Why does this happen to me? Some of you listening to this might relate to this. There’s a whole talk about highly sensitive people and people who are introverted. Their social battery is drained when they’re out with large groups of people, but this doesn’t happen all the time in every social setting.
So here I am, having this conversation with God, asking what and why. Why is it that I cannot be around large groups of people? I feel depleted afterwards. I have to sleep. It doesn’t matter if it was after church, I would have to go home and sleep for two to three hours every Sunday. Or, if I’m at a conference or a specific group gathering, I have to go home and recharge my batteries. Now, mind you, I can go hiking in the desert for hours in the heat and be energized by it all. I can go to the gym and do a killer workout, walk out feeling on top of the world, full of energy, and physically and mentally feeling great. But here I am in a group of people. The topics are interesting. No one’s doing anything eventful there that’s causing any harm, but my body just isn’t liking it.
On that Sunday, I’m having this conversation with God in the morning, and I’m like, okay, I am going to sit myself in the very back as far as I can, and the very back of a corner away from everyone else. I noticed that on that day it wasn’t as bad, right? My energy was a little higher. I also did what I could to seclude myself from the group during breaks and lunch to avoid interacting with so many people. I noticed that my energy was a little bit better on Sunday. The next day I had to spend all my Monday. Thank God my assistant reminded me like, Hey, remember the next day after a conference, just block your schedule because you’re always exhausted. My Monday was off, and I slept. I’m not going to have any shame in saying this.
I slept almost all day on Monday. That was yesterday, and I really needed that. I love my sleep, and I recharged myself. I purged myself of whatever was going on, but I spent time with the Lord asking Him, ‘What is it about these social environments?’ I enjoy interacting with people. I’m not antisocial. I’m not afraid to speak and engage with others, but why is it that in some environments I’m depleted? Maybe you’re listening to this and thinking, ‘ Me too. ‘ That’s me. Why is it? I want to discuss this because several of my patients, as well as many of you listening, may relate to this, and it has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted. It has to do with your nervous system. I also believe, because that’s what the Lord was really pouring into me, that God designed us to be a certain way.
If you look back at the stories of prophets in the Bible, many of these prophets didn’t necessarily enjoy being around large crowds. Look at the story of Elijah. He would run off away from everyone into the mountains. He wanted to seclude himself from everyone because he just wanted to hear God’s voice. I find that people who have a true prophetic gift often enjoy being alone, not because they’re lonely; actually, they feel more connected when they’re alone because they’re connected to the Spirit of the Lord. They’re connected to Holy Spirit and they’re fulfilled and satisfied with his presence. Now, some of us have very sensitive nervous systems. People call it intuition, whatever. I think we have sensitive nervous systems and our soul picks up as well when someone is being fake, when someone’s not authentic and it’s subtle cues of that person, maybe something they’re thinking or they’re feeling about you and you’re picking up on that energy that person is putting out, but your mind is trying to make sense of it and it’s not quite registering, you’re not able to make sense.
It takes a lot of energy for your nervous system to try to figure out what I always say; your nervous system is always trying to figure out, ‘Am I safe?’ Am I not safe? Even if there’s no violence or anything, it’s just a social interaction you’re having with someone. The safety part that comes into this conversation is, am I safe to be myself in this moment? Is it safe for me to express myself as I please? Of course, being respectful, right? I’m not talking extremes here. Can I express my thoughts and emotions in this situation? Can I be myself, or am I too much for that person that they’ll think I’m too much, I’m too intense, or that I’m not good enough for them? These processes are all happening very quickly in our brains and nervous system, and they require a lot of energy.
Our brain, our nervous system in general, just takes up a lot of energy for it to function when we have this extra emotional information to process these unseen, unheard conversations that people are having that are not telling you, but they’re there. Some of us are feelers and we feel what you’re thinking. I can tell you, I’ve been to church many times where someone will hug me and say hi and do all that stuff, but I know they don’t like me. I know they don’t like me and maybe they’re jealous or they find me annoying or they think I’m a know it all. Whatever it is, I can sense your thoughts and emotions. That’s some of you feel people’s thoughts and you feel their emotions, but they’re not intelligent to where you’re able to make sense of it. It’s very obscure, it’s not clear.
You’re trying to make sense of it. This is why some of us are drained to being around, excuse my language, but we don’t like being around fake ass people. We don’t because if I cannot be who I am, because I don’t want to overwhelm you, I don’t want to make you feel less of, I don’t want to offend you or whatever it is, even if I am going about it the right way, it takes a lot of energy on my part to try to dilute myself so I can fit your mold of what you think I should be like. And that’s very exhausting. As a woman, I’ll tell you, especially in church environments, I keep going to the Lord and saying, ‘God, you told me to be a doctor.’ Did I not hear you right? You told me, go help my people this way and go do that and go do this.
Was that not you? Am I wrong? Because the church world is making me feel whether it’s indirect or not, that I’m wrong for the choices that I’ve made to become a doctor, to have a business, to do these things that I need to make everyone else a priority, but these things and so authenticity, what is it more importantly, this authenticity we have to be living honestly before God? First and foremost, my power of being authentic is I am being myself. Am I being honest with God more than anyone else? I’ve told this to people before. As I went through my healing journey, I found myself telling my doctor at the time, who was amazing. She’s an amazing doctor. I said, you know what? If I cannot be myself in any environment, just be authentic, then what’s the point to living if I have to put a mask on to be a certain person, put a different mask with a different group of people?
What was happening in this moment at the conference was that, although we share the same profession and similar values in medicine and healthcare, this group is very unique. We are focused on the foundations of natural medicine, the vitalistic aspect, which is true to the medicine. There was a part of me that I did not feel resonated with. It wasn’t anything that anyone did; it’s just that within me, I did not fit into everything they were saying. There was a sense of holding back on speaking because I didn’t want to offend anyone. I’m keeping myself small, invisible, right? Without realizing it, I find myself wanting to say and share things that I know have power and meaning. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a desire to say them. So, where in your life are you holding yourself back from being authentic out of the fear that you’re going to offend someone, or they’re going to accuse you of something, or that they’re going to think you’re too much, or you’re not good enough?
These are things that we should start reflecting on. I want to share a scripture because God desires the truth in our innermost being to come out. So in Psalms 51:6, David says, Behold, you desire truth in the inward parts and in the hidden part, you will make me to know wisdom. One of the things I admired about David was his genuine and authentic approach to his Psalms. He was pouring his heart out to God, not seeking to perform, not because he was perfect, but because he was raw, broken, and honest. I love that. I find that when I’m around people like my patients are, they’re raw, they’re broken, and they’re honest and they’re vulnerable, and they’re putting it all at the table because they want help. Needless to say, when I have long days in my clinic, dealing with challenging cases, or when people share and pour out their hearts, their traumas, and their hurts, I am not depleted.
My energy’s okay because we were able to have an honest conversation with each other. If you’re my patient and you’re listening to this, you know that I have most likely shared some of my hurts and my pains with you. The reason I do that is not to take away from your experience. I want you to see the human in me. That’s something that in medical school they tell you not to do. They advise you not to disclose your personal information to your patient. They discuss setting very rigid guidelines and boundaries between you and your patient. Then, how does a physician build trust? How do they create an environment of safety and let the patient know that I understand where they’re coming from? I’m not perfect. I am not perfect, just like you, and I’m an imperfect person.
I’m an imperfect doctor and I’m working on me and I’m helping you work on you. Maybe I’m several notches up in the ladder of healing and I’m just trying to give you my hand to pull you up so that you can be where I’m at. That’s a very different approach in medicine that you don’t see. Unfortunately, medical doctors put themselves on this pedestal like a God. They know better than anyone. This is why I don’t like it when doctors tell their patients, If you don’t do this treatment, you have six months to live. Who are you, sir or ma’am, to say to another human when their life is going to end? You’re not God. No matter how brilliant you are as a doctor or as a scientist or whatever career you have, you are not God and you do not have the ultimate decision in someone’s life and outcome.
The same thing in churches. We all, not me, but a lot of people, pretend like they have this perfect walk. And let’s be honest. I know you’re in traffic, driving angry, cursing at the person in front of you. It’s okay. I won’t judge you for it. Some people will. I’ve had patients in my clinic who are in so much pain and they’re cursing up a storm. Then at some point, the patient will apologize and say, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be cussing so much. I’ll say, why not? You’re in pain. You’re frustrated. You haven’t been heard. You haven’t been provided any solutions to your problems. You have every right to be angry. So what if you cut him in my presence? I’m not offended by that and their expression of me sharing that I’m not offended and I’m not judging them because they decided to throw the f-bomb in front of me. That’s how they authentically feel. Now I know I get to see the internal part of who they are and how they truly feel in that moment. And I’d rather they express their emotions and hold them inside. They’re not projecting their emotions or their cursing towards me. I don’t take it personally.
What if we had the ability to sit with people who are having the raw experience and brokenness as David did, and they’re being honest? What’s wrong with that? It’s a reflection of the power in authenticity and the freedom that comes with being authentic. You don’t have to worry about which mask to put on when you enter a particular environment. I tell my patients, and I tell my friends and anyone I meet, the way I’m talking to you right here is the way I talk to everyone. I just want to be myself in different settings. It’s easier for me. Sometimes I am a little naive and I go into an environment thinking that I can be myself and everyone else is being themselves and I’m hit with this wall of reality that no, everyone has a front.
I could feel that, and it’s uncomfortable. So I’d rather be alone on top of a mountain where I’m not feeling that ickiness. In our Christian walk, Jesus didn’t expect us to be perfect. He’s not expecting perfection out of us. When Jesus came, he came to the imperfect, to the broken, to the sick. He wants us to be honest with him. He wants us to be genuine with him, and God is not going to be impressed by our highlights or all the good things we’re doing. He’s impressed when we can be honest with him about, I’m angry. I am so angry at this situation. He’ll be the first to tell you, feel it, and let it go. Surrender it. But you’ve got to feel it. A pet peeve of mine is when I hear people say, ‘Ignore your feelings and emotions; just don’t listen to them.’ They’re oftentimes misleading. They can be misleading. They’re not always misleading. God gave us emotions and feelings for a reason. We have to use our intelligence to discern, Why am I feeling that way? Just like I did this weekend at my conference? Why am I feeling this way? There’s no parent threat. No one’s doing anything to me. Why am I feeling this way? What is it that I’m picking up and sensing? Lord, help me.
We need to be able to filter through what process, the feeling that comes up, and not avoid it. If anything, I tell people, feel the emotion, feel the feeling. Ask God to help you discern where this is coming from and what to do with it. He’s going to walk you through that feeling. If you’re feeling grief and you feel like crying, cry and cry your way through that grief, not over the grief, not around the grief, not suppress the grief, not bury the grief. You walk through the grief itself. You walk through the anger, you walk through the emotion of sadness or joy, whatever it is. In my studies and education, one thing I’ve learned from examining the anatomy and physiology of the brain, as well as its mental and emotional aspects, is that when we suppress one emotion, we suppress them all.
The amygdala, which perceives emotions, is not selective. If you are sad and grieving and you don’t want to feel the pain of sadness and grief and you suppress that by running around and keeping yourself busy and keeping yourself distracted, that was me keeping myself distracted from feeling the sadness, feeling the emotions. You’re going to suppress all of them, even the good ones. If you suppress all the emotions, how are you going to feel the presence of God? How are you going to feel his joy and love and all of those good feelings? You can’t because you’re they’re all suppressed. So now you’re pretending. You’re pretending to be happy through the grief. Don’t get me wrong, there will be moments when you experience happiness, but when sadness comes along, acknowledge it. Walk yourself through that. Get through it, not trying to suppress it.
I think people need to be very cautious about sharing with others how they suppress their feelings and emotions. Instead, discern them, feel them and discern them. Try to understand. Sometimes, there is no logic to it, and you let those go. Sometimes there is logic to it and you take it up and you do something with it. But we have a culture that we’ve been told to suppress, suppress, suppress. Then we have this extreme side of feel it all and stay in your feelings. Well, no, you don’t want to do that either. We want to move through it. We want to be able to move through those emotions and feelings, rather than getting stuck in them. That’s the problem. That’s the extreme right of if you don’t process things well, you will get stuck in that anger. You will get stuck in depression, you’ll get stuck in sadness, and you won’t be able to move past that and not really fully, authentically enjoying your life because you’re stuck and nobody likes to get stuck. So Jesus, when we look at his life, Jesus never wore a mask. He never pretended that something was okay when it wasn’t.
He spoke with grace and he spoke with truth. I’ll be honest, I’m still learning to speak with grace. I am heavy on the truth and I’m learning to speak with grace as many people are. But Jesus, he ate with sinners. He wept openly. He cried. He mourned the loss. He also flipped tables out of anger of righteous anger when he saw in injustice, and he spent hours alone with his father. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to be alone with the Father and have God show you what is it that you need to know. What’s the next move? What’s the next step? What do I need to do? Tell me about me. That’s an authentic conversation. Look, I didn’t grow up in church. I don’t attend church, but I know how to have a relationship with God. Well, and my conversations with God are no different than this conversation.
Often, we’re like, ‘ Oh, Lord Jesus, please. ‘ And we’re praying to a God that’s distant, not realizing that God is here present within the inside of us in our presence, and we’re praying to someone like they’re distant and he’s sitting here, talk to him like He’s sitting here. God, what should I do in this situation? I feel stuck. I help me guide me. You don’t need to pray and make it a performance. God doesn’t want that. He knows when you’re being sincere in your heart. In Matthew 11:28, it is one of the most beautiful invitations in Scripture. It says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. God himself is saying, come to me. Are you weary and burdened like I was this weekend? I was dying guys. I thought, what is wrong with me? Lord?
Why can’t I keep my eyes open? I felt like I was a hundred years old nodding my head, and he gave me rest and he had to reset my nervous system, and I couldn’t think clearly until it was all done. Then he poured into me and showed me why God doesn’t tell you. Go fix yourself and then come back when you’re better. No, he wants you to come to him when you’re burdened and weary. He says, Come as you are. That is the true power of being authentic. He’s saying, Come as you are. It can’t get any more real like that. He’s not expecting you to stop doing drugs. Stop drinking. Stop sleeping around. Stop cussing. Clean up your act. Get your act together, right? He’s not expecting for any of that. He’s saying, just come to me as you are.
Let me pick up your burden. Let me lighten that burden for you. Fine rest in me. I will restore your soul and I will show you who you are. That’s where repentance comes. When we’re in his presence. We no longer want the old self. I don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I’m not okay. When people ask me, how are you doing? And I’m not doing okay, but let’s keep the conversation on something else. If it’s not pertinent, if it’s not the appropriate time to have that conversation right now. But I can still say I’m not feeling well.
The heartbreak of this spiritual authenticity is coming to God without pretense, knowing that He already sees, and He sees everything. He sees everything: your brokenness, your mistakes, your fault, all of it. He sees it all. You can just lay all of that, those expectations that you think God has of you or other people have of you, and God sees it and he still loves you that way. That is the reality: God still loves you the way you are, even through your sin, even through your imperfections. He still loves you. Just like a parent, I always tell my daughters that they don’t have to perform for me. They don’t have to do anything to deserve my love. They had my love from the moment they were in my womb and I held them and I looked into their little eyes.
They had my love. It’s given. It’s not something they earn, not something they have to deserve to have. They have it. And yeah, there might be situations that they do things that upset me, but I still love them no matter what. And God is the same way, even greater than that, his grace in his mercy supersedes the grace and mercy that any human can give you. He sees you for who you are and he still loves you that way. This is what has helped me get through my life. I tell this to my patients, especially young people. I tell him, Look, if there’s one thing you can learn from me today, just take this one thing. That’s the same for you listening to this conversation. That is that no matter who you are, no matter how rich or poor, how beautiful you are, how talented and skilled, it doesn’t matter who you are, what age, what you’ve accomplished in life, you will never, ever, ever please all people in your life.
You just can’t. It’s not possible. There’s something you’re going to do or say or not do or say that will offend someone and will upset them, even if that wasn’t your intention. Because you can be mindful of what comes out of your mouth and how you say it, how you communicate it, and say it very kind and just with poise, right? And grace. People can still take that statement the wrong way. It’s none of your business how they interpret what you said. It’s none of your business how they receive that message. If you did your due diligence and delivered that message with grace and they’re upset about it, there’s nothing you can do about it. You just got to let it go. Let them feel that way and think that way about you.
We were not designed to please other humans, nor were we designed for other humans to please us; instead, we were designed to please God. All he wants is for us to be authentic with him and to walk with him and come to him when we need help and give him our gratitude, not just when we need his help, but show gratitude of that. There is a cost of hiding behind a mask, especially in our faith. It’s going to cost us intimacy with God and with others. Authentic intimacy, really getting to know people for who they are without judgment. The cost of hiding also leads people to deeper sin. When you think of Genesis, where Adam and Eve sinned, what did they do? They hid from God. Why did they hide? Because they were ashamed, they were naked.
Shame will often tell us to cover up and hide. That’s the price of hiding, of not being authentic. I’m not telling you to go and tell everyone about your business. I’m not in that belief camp either. If you’re going to share anything about yourself that’s deep, hurtful, or painful, you want to use discretion about who you’re sharing this information with. Even church people, I’m going to tell you that, because some people just love to gossip and run their mouths, telling everyone else your business. I’m not okay with that. Just because you’re in an environment that you assume that people would be respectful of your privacy and would give you grace and would do all those nice things, they’re human. You still have to use discretion with who you’re going to share these things that you’re ashamed of, that you’re covering.
Find someone who is safe, find someone who’s trustworthy, and more importantly, someone who can actually help you, who can guide you through that. Don’t just say it to say it. Say it to someone who shares these things with someone who’s able to help you get through that, right? So, it is a very powerful thing. This authenticity and community are where I find the struggle that I know from the book of James, James 5:16, which tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
But I will say as a precaution, to be careful what you are confessing to whom even in a church setting, I have seen people who are not respectful of people’s privacy. There is power in this vulnerability, especially when it’s done with the right people in the right setting. All right, man. So this living authentically is a process for some people. I really think that the reason many people are not willing or able to is because they still have a lot of healing to do for themselves. There’s still a lot of processing that they need to go through, and it takes work and people don’t want to take the work. However, this will eventually show up in your life. It’ll start to affect their relationships. People will start to notice that you’re wearing a mask and that you’re not being your true self.
Then there are a lot of people like me who are just very sensitive to the fake. We feel it. We see it. We might not call you out on it. That’s us giving you grace because we don’t want to make anyone feel ashamed or embarrassed about it, but we feel it and it’s uncomfortable. As I wrap up here, I just want to share some simple reminders of that are powerful. Spend time with God without performance. So pray, honestly, read your scriptures, not to check a box, but to hear his voice and bring your real emotions. He can handle your emotions. Trust me. Step two, let go of spiritual perfectionism. So God’s love for you isn’t based on your record; it’s based on Christ. That’s freedom, because nothing that we could do to ever be perfect. So just give up on that perfectionism.
The third point is to invite safe people into your story. So find trusted believers that you can be honest with, and you are might just give them the courage to be real, too. I hope that through the interactions I have with people, it gives them the courage to be authentic. I’m not asking for perfection. Just be yourself. I always say, unless being yourself is being a jerk, then keep your mouth shut because some people are just jerks. That is not truly the essence of who they are. People who are jerks are the hurt version of what God intended them to be. They’re hurt, and the pain they spill over is their behavior, but the healed part of them would not act in such a way. So hey, I want to encourage you to take a step to living more authentically with God, with in your relationships with everyone you interact. Just be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. I hope you’ve enjoyed this conversation. Until next time, be blessed. Thank you for listening to Physician Heal Thyself, the podcast. If you like what you’ve heard, please like, share and subscribe, help this message, reach more people who may need to hear it. Leave your comments. I want to know what you think. If you’re interested in learning more about Raices, visit our website. Until next time, be blessed.